My process of Manifestation after Failure
I was chatting with a friend today about how failure can be either completely stifling, or it can be seen as a lesson for Life (with a capital L). Resilience is not a given. As psychologists and social scientists say, resilience is a muscle. Often you need to work it as a child for it to be there easily as an adult, otherwise is a much bigger climb to getting over that mountain as you age.
I have seen plenty of failure in my life. When I shut down my store two years ago. When I got a divorce. When I cut ties with friends. Injuries. Failure sucks. It has always brought me down to the bottom of the well of sadness, where there are tears of millions of people. It can easily drown you if you’re not careful.
The way I am choosing to feel failure is like I’m feeling age; it’s an inevitable experience that I can pretend doesn’t happen, or face it for what it is. “Life is not for the weak” as I keep finding myself saying over and over again to my friends going through major life transitions right now; facing failure is like looking at an inevitable cliff.
I am a Manifestor, a worker, I like to bring ideas from the ethers into reality. I like to feel that creative whirling of ideas and put action behind them. And, for the last couple of years it’s been really hard.
But the failure of my business pulled the wind out of my sails; my creativity wasn’t there. I didn’t see possibility. This could have easily been termed depression, because it probably was.
What I have been doing is simple: being honest with myself and others. I have been reflecting on the past and talking about what I’ve learned and ways I could have done it differently. But what has created the biggest shift for me is how I’m looking at myself. I have accepted that I wasn’t the person who could have done it differently. I did what I could have and what my best was at the moment. A humbling view of truth, with a dash of self-love.
Now, with that knowledge I am looking at my next stage of business and growth as a more learned person, someone who has seen the bottom of the well, looked around, and said it’s time to come out now.
I climbed out of that well with one thing: people around me. Loved ones, my wife, children, clients, and friends that have also gone through hard times.
(photo from Land of Verse Sonoma County Retreat, 2025)
I am so excited to be creative again. I feels like there’s hope. But this hope is based in reality. It’s less risky, I have more foreshadowing, and awareness of the potential pitfalls. The manifestation process is the same (vision, planning, action), but it’s based on the many lessons, and many scars, that have proved I have taken risks, put myself out there, that I am alive to fully live, and to love myself along the way.
Maybe COVID did this to a lot of us, I guess it could easily be a sign of the times. But, I am excited to keep grounded in what I really want (community, land, a sustainable livelihood) and focus on what really matters.
If you’d like to join me in visioning for 2026, I am hosting a guided meditation on January 2, no charge. My meditation is based on the work of my teachers, Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés, who is one of my people who pulls me out of the well every time.
Sending love and hopes for a grounded, loving new year.
xo Laura
